A female perspective on loneliness

 

I’m starting this comment while still listening to you so I don’t know how you finish up but… but my first impulse is to say I appreciate and respect you for your honesty. I have had lonely periods and I do agree that it can feel crippling. I just lost my wife of 46 years. My whole adult life was Us. I was in shock for the first couple of weeks. I howled in emotional pain. I wanted to. I wanted to saturate myself in that pain of loss….but… But, here I go again, that depression lifted. It lifted like a weight off my mind and it went away… I mean it went away and the other day I was walking down the street and said to myself I’ve never felt so happy. I felt guilty for a minute. How could I feel happy? But it did and I do. I feel happy. I have gotten closer to my family and friends. I have gotten to know my daughter, my sister, my cousin, my friend on a much deeper level than I did when we were married. And now, as far as female friends, I have a few but I don’t want to become romantically involved again. Our marriage was good. It was strong and it was the biggest part of my life. but now I feel like I’ve done that. I don’t feel like anything could compete with that or should compete with that so I do certainly appreciate female, companionship, and friendship, but I don’t want it to go beyond that. I’m not looking for something to go beyond that and that’s possibly another reason why I’m not feeling lonely I simply am not feeling lonely and it’s hard to even believe it even as I say it, but it’s the truth. now, as I’m getting towards the end of your video you’re talking about letting your emotions out truly letting more or less like I said the scream, Therapy almost let all your your fears your angers your sadness let it all come out. I have a little theory about that I have a theory that we have an appetite for pain for loneliness for loss. and I’m not making light of this at all, but I’m saying that if you’re feeling these feelings, then fill yourself up with those feelings let them manifest on their highest level but after a while, I believe you will be exhausted by it. I believe you will exhaust that feeling of loneliness of loss you had a marriage you had five children no marriage is perfect. No marriage is perfect. That’s something that you kinda have to. I guess understand possibly just through observation you look at all the movie stars all the best looking people in the world. They have all the looks all the money and very few of them have happy marriages. If you had any happiness in your marriage count, that is a good thing if you get along with two or three or four of your five children count that as a good thing and think about getting to know them better think about being a bigger part of their lives You are a very articulate and very attractive person and you’re very sensitive and very empathetic you care about other people which is why you’re doing this video you want to help others while you’re helping yourself and you’re doing that so take pride in that. You mentioned talking to yourself and yes, we’re all talking to ourselves through our pets through our dogs as he said, and they look at you and they need you and don’t minimize that either realize how important you are to them realize how important you are to your children and by doing these YouTube videos, realize how important you are to other people who are searching for answers just like you are.  Make yourself the project as a friend of mine said you’re not by yourself. You’re with yourself. I know what I’m saying is cliché, but if there’s truth in it, decide that you just simply want to explore yourself and explore your ability to adapt to your singular life. Don’t look at it as a punishment look at it as an opportunity. What I have discovered and what you may discover as well is that loneliness is more apt to happen actually when you are with other people even with your spouse and even with your kids because you’ll find yourself judging yourself. Step back from everybody don’t look for or expect them to solve your loneliness issue pursue your own friendship. Do your videos talk to the people who listen to your videos talk to the people who need your wisdom but send it out there free of charge don’t expect anything from anybody in return… simply do what you want to do with all your heart and let yourself allow yourself to get to know yourself and to love yourself for exactly who you are.