Text to Lauren April 15, 2025

 

Text to Lauren

I’m watching this over and over again to prepare for Thursday night with our friends so I’m not reduced to a puddle of tears… but like I’ve told you… it’s all good… they are happy tears… this is like watching a movie about young love. I have to pinch myself to realize it’s actually me… I almost look for you in the pictures. Of course you’re not there.. yet, not there in person, but you were there in your mommas heart. She knew she wanted you before she met me but when we knew you were on the way our whole world was focused on that. Focused on you. There were a whole lot of I don’t know say modern youth concepts about having a baby at that time…. Having your baby underwater…. Having your baby without anesthesia, that was a big one…. That never made sense to me. I used to say it’s like having your teeth drilled without Novacaine… what’s the point???

Anyway, that morning when you were born, I went from a level of panic and consternation to exhilaration of overwhelming joy and confidence. Tess, of course, was under a light anesthesia…. Just enough to argue about the music in the delivery room…. And then to tell me curtly,  no we are not going to call her Christie. So we were waiting for the doctor for what seemed like hours but when Dr. Larry White took the helm somehow I immediately felt like everything’s gonna be OK… and of course it was…much more than OK… it was one morning that would change our lives forever. ❤️

Text to my sister Linda

Ok I’m starting to get mentally prepared for Thursday night when I plan to show this video at Sandra’s with our group of friends. Every time I watch this I’m moved to tears… my plan is to be cried out by the time Thursday gets here. As I watch this I feel like it’s a movie about young love. I have to remind myself that it’s really me… that this happened to me. The other thing that I am greatly reminded of is that it was you who took all these pictures… without you I wouldn’t have this movie, these memories to look back on. So I thank you thank thank you and thank you again for that. 

We had a great day together yesterday, plans have changed a little today which was supposed to be mine and Lauren’s, but I did have a good talk with her and Sam last night. Very brief but very nice… about parenting and parenthood. These boys are Very Challenging but Lauren loves them so much… she said if/when they leave she will need massive doses of medication… these boys, being mother to these boys is her whole identity… just as I typed that I thought, that’s kind of me too… Pete and Tess was my whole identity… yes we fought about stuff, stupid, stupid stuff… I’m really re-thinking all of that too… those first days of innocence and pure love… I joked at Tess that those first six months held together the next 40 years… that’s a little bit true but even so, thank you god for those first 6 months. Thank you god for all 46 years because even through all that, like the words to the song, I’ll take the good times, I’ll take the bad times, I love you just the way you are.