I am here. I am whole. I am okay.

I’m here I’m whole and I’m OK

I’m here. I’m whole. I’m OK.

This was a mantra I came up with this morning after the thing yesterday and last night. Yesterday our president, Trump threatened to destroy a part of the world destroy a civilization. I was visiting with Jennifer. We went for a walk. Part of my mind was on the walk. Part of my mind was on what Trump was doing. Jennifer and I talked a little bit Jennifer said she went and filled her tank with gas. That was a very practical solution or reaction to a very threatening situation we talked, and we both felt ashamed of what Trump was saying and doing we talked about going home to watch Broadchurch or not coming to my house just staying in our individual homes. I told Jennifer that I wanted her to know she was invited that she didn’t have to stay alone if she didn’t want to, but that she could she said she thought it might not be good to watch Broadchurch when so many people were being threatened, and I felt in that moment she had such wisdom and insight and as many times I just wanted to hug her and thank her for being who she is and tell her that I love her, and I kind of did that she also told me about a man that she had dated briefly who was Iranian and he had laid out a platform for her like she said, putting all his cards on the table and saying that there were three women that he could marry, and one of them was her and that the other one he wouldn’t marry because she was fat and Jennifer found that very offensive she officer thought and one of them is me because I’m not gonna marry you he told her that his wife had divorced him and that had they been in Iran the neighbors would’ve beaten her up so this was yet another reason to get away from this guy and that’s what she did. She said they drove somewhere. They were trying to help him out when they got to the destination. I think both sisters are both friends got it to the same car and just left him there.

So it was just another interesting story In Jennifer‘s life and Two kind of help me get to know her just a little bit more and I have found that the more I listen the more I learn I try not to talk too much. I find myself talking in spurts. I was very energized over this situation with Trump and I expressed that to her and then I got involved with her little iPad trying to figure things out and kind of went down that geek rabbit hole, but I think I stopped myself soon enough to make an OK experience for both of us. I do want her to be able to listen to this book happiness that I’m listening to.

I had a dream last night and the dream involved being in some sort of a class or group and then when the class was disbanding, I asked a woman in the class if we would get together again and kind of continue our teamwork and she looked at me and said no this was it. This was the end and it left me feeling very insecure. I was afraid how am I going to make a living? That’s what was happening in this dream how am I going to make a living? What kind of job am I going to have? How can I make money to survive? Those are the things floating around in my mind in the dream I woke up and gradually I started to realize that I was OK. I started to realize that I actually did retire that I did have a job and that at the end of the job I did have money and I am retired, but I had to rethink these things. I had to rediscover these things because at the core of this dream I realized was insecurity. I realized that in my mind in my body, I feel insecure I have fear and then in my real life, I have comfort so it’s an odd situation where I have comfort I have Security, but in my mind, I have fear so this is where the mantra came in as I started to listen to happiness the book the audiobook I realize that happiness is a state of mind. Happiness is connecting your breath with your body and your mind with your body and allowing yourself to feel that freedom and feel that peace that only you can generate that. Yes there is reality but ironically, your mind creates a different reality and sometimes your mental reality is worse than your real reality and that’s the second arrow you know I have wealth I have comfort. I am in surrounded with wealth and comfort and yet in my mind, I feel fear I feel fear of losing what I already have and what techno Honda saying is don’t let that fear possess. You be here now and Express or feel the happiness that you can get from being here now with the simplest comforts around you so that’s why I came up with the Montreau of the saying I am here. I am whole and I am OK. 

Jennifer listens to her gurus and one of them Louise hay made the point that we are always repeating mantras to ourselves. I think this was a profound insight. We are repeating mantras to ourselves at all times. The difference is that these are subconscious or unconscious, mantras many of times they are negative many times we’re saying we’re not good enough and that’s why we have to counter those negative mantras with positive ones. I am good enough. I am enough. I am whole.