Orchids in the Window

 https://youtu.be/CTMi8jLuy9o?si=ktActTckqHV68gym

All right so I'm going to talk about these orchids today today has been a long day and a very emotional day and a very unexpected day so I mean it's kind of chalking up to yet another almost typical day being Suddenly Single um you know it's an emotional roller coaster but I'm I'm me truly it's a it's a thrill ride in a way um I make the most of it I try to learn from it and that's what this is here today um when I woke up this morning there were two pictures in my memories that popped up and they were being at Bob's place for his birthday last year 

which was obviously the same time last year but Tess was with me when we went to Bob's birthday party and you know I knew it later but not at the time that it would be the last time we went out and yet seeing it again A year later just truly hit me in an emotional way and I talked about that and I talked about that and you know it was very meaningful to me and then I was getting ready for uh our death cafe meeting this afternoon and you know I thought maybe I'll talk about you know the coincidence and not the coincidence of the pictures popping up a year later and how that was a trigger but you know how I had you know emotional reaction to that and so I was thinking about that and I look up from my phone and I see these two orchids in the window just as I'm showing this picture here but from a distance but I'm seeing these two fullblown orchids and I did not know that they were there I did not see them in the process of blooming I I I've watered it a little bit here in there over the last several months butI've just given it up for dead I just assumed that the little orchid plant was sitting there the leaves would be green but then they turn yellow and brown I pull them off but I didn't throw away the Orchid for some reason I just let it sit there I don't know if it was sentimental or not but you know it was just something that I just didn't feel the need to get rid of over the years it got where I would buy test a new Orchid for whatever the occasion might be and so Valentine's Day great get her anorchid oh birthday oh surely get get her an orchid Christmas New Year's whatever it was I would get a new Orchid because they would sit there they would look pretty and then they would die and when they died you threw them away we didn't try to nurse them or take care of them or do anything special and that that kind of crossed my mind a couple times but but this I basically ignored I basically ignored this plant except once in a while when I was watering the other plant the only other living plant wehave in the living room I would throw a little water you know on the Orchid and I'm telling you and I don't know why I want to say your name but you know Tess honey you know I looked up and there they were just like you're seeing them fullblown orchids looking out the window and that's the way flowers grow you know they Point towards the Sun and so you know I just this was just remarkable and magical you know is it is it you know spiritual you know cause correlation coincidence it was no doubt a coincidence is there acorrelation well I thought about this just a second ago it is spring spring is springing and these plants probably go into a dormant stage and then maybe they reg germinate we we' never had that experience cuz we never kept them that long but that this this Orchid came back and I just feel so surprised shocked and moved um because I don't know you know is it a miracle I I just it was a Wonder it's a beautiful thing it's a beautiful thing and it's it's true that I love Tess as much or more I can't say morenow than ever but as I said in the death cafe when I talked in the death cafe I got very emotional about it very quickly no control over my emotions and kind of no need to because it's a very cathartic group and a very supportive group but I don't go in there thinking oh I'm going to have a cry out day no I start telling a story and as I'm telling it the emotions kind of take hold of me but I think that's a good thing I think it's a healthy thing and uh you know reliving these moments and that's what I did Ithought about that day I thought well I'm talking about Bob's birthday again I thought about that day and you know how I got test to go with me and then how he made that parking space for us and then how she sat there and people kind of gathered around her and came up to her and talked to her and so forth and when I took her picture she didn't block it she just she was smiling and looking across the room and she was the most beautiful girl in the world and the cutest little smile and you know I guess that's thewhole thing in my mind about being married marrying someone and really really really knowing that person on the deepest level you can know another person um through days weeks months and years and decades because things change they change all the time but you stay with it you stay with it you work through it you stay together and work on new things and get to know each other and I feel like that's still going on and I don't sit and have conversations with her and you know I'll see him movies and so forth the guy sits at thegrave and talks to his wife or talks to whomever I don't do that I don't think about it that way but every once in a while I'll I'll say yeah Tess you were right you know Zeke Zeke's on my lap right now he's happy as a clam 30 seconds ago he was whimpering because apparently he wanted to be on my lap so so I learn because Tess would always say Peter he wants something he's not just trying to aggravate you but anyway I I love you Tess I love you I love reminiscing and thinking back and it doesn't bother me to getemotional and and go through that catharsis and I'm doing these podcasts you know to facilitate those emotions and I'm saying some very personal things but again I'm not saying things that you know are bad or wrong um they're just true to the heart true to true to who I feel I who who I am or how I feel so that's it for today I'm going to let it go and thank you little rose buds little I see I want to say gardinas with little orchids thank you for Blooming today I hope this thing recorded