A restless night

 I just said good morning to the woman I love and I just had a great conversation with Alice a friend that I love and last night I had a restless night… And that’s all it was it was a restless night, but in the throes of it in the midst of it, I was catastrophize. I just learned that word this morning from Alice and it’s a great word because you know it puts a label on a feeling or a process and the fact that there is a word for it tells us that we’re not alone we’re not the only ones that feel this way or I’m not the only one that feels this way on occasion, you know my concerns can turn into monumental worries what are my concerns well, my back hurts so I feel like I’m you know deteriorating physically because my back hurts and I’m afraid to move too quickly that I’m afraid I’ll throw my back out then I worry about the stock market crashing I worry that oh my gosh, all this comfort that I have around me could disappear overnight. What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? I worry that well. I’m in love right now and it’s wonderful what what’s gonna happen when this ends part of me says just end it now just get it over with the other parts says don’t be ridiculous. Enjoy everything while you can and that’s what I do. I feel like I give 100% or as much as I can to the relationship just to feel and act and be in love and who knows where I’ll be in a month or two months or two years so I’m blogging this because that’s part of my process putting my thoughts out there my feelings out there you know, objectifying them in a way where I can see what they sound like what they look like in writing and then you know, I can either publish it or just leave it in draft form and it’s just here just part of who I am part of what today has brought to me