So yesterday was yet again one of these wonderful kind of magical days they just seemed to fill themselves. We started with breakfast with the quiche that she had bought at fresh market and the fruit salad that I made. It was really too cold to sit outside, but she did and we just had a great little breakfast and then like I said, we laid down in bed together and bonded and bonded in such a beautiful way it was Jennifer in my arms and Keith on our lapse and not quiche Zeke on our labs and we noticed it and we said oh my gosh, you know we truly are like a little family and you know I guess we were eating breakfast until almost 12 and then she went home. You know she goes home and we then got together later that day to come over and watch Broadchurch. In the meantime Sean texted us and asked if we could you know join them for dinner at the Italian restaurant varies used to be Mona Lisa and we just didn’t wanna go. We just didn’t wanna go and we found ourselves well how do we say no in a nice way and we said you know we’re kind of tired out from and I said in the note meds in Asheville and I gave blood yesterday and I said that to Jennifer if I mentioned cause she said you can tell him that I’m tired out from my infusions and so since she introduced that, I said, I said OK maybe I can do that, but I have reservations of saying that because I feel like it opens a little Pandora’s box for more questions Schorr enough within minutes if First the answer is OK which would’ve been great but then he comes back with what meds are you getting or something well, we decided again not to answer that just to leave it. I don’t. I’m the one in. I don’t wanna make a big deal about it by saying no or not saying anything sometimes that can even bring more attention to it at the same time you know we debate about how much reasoning do we give when we simply just don’t wanna go out and we don’t want to insult anybody and we wanna be friends and we wanna do things together, but we just get tired of it and we both neither one of us wanna dress up she said is it OK if I wear jeans and I said sure but it’s a kind of a formal place and maybe she would’ve felt uncomfortable when we got there. I don’t know but anyway bottom line is we didn’t go out. We didn’t answer his second inquiry. I’m looking at maybe maybe we’ll go for fried chicken down at the Campfire Grill in Flat rock which was right now right around the corner from where they live so I’ll see if I ask Jennifer. We’ll see how we feel as the day goes on but the real Blog poster is about Jennifer and I our relationship how we’re negotiating or navigating Alice is worth navigating our relationship you know basically when we’re 80 years old and you know how do we love each other without being naked in bed you know or really gosh help me the main problem I have I don’t wanna have bathroom issues you know around her you know that’s just too damn domestic is too personal. You know you don’t even really think about that stuff when you know you’re in love in your 30s or God knows in your teens all you think about is go to bed you know get to have sex you know who cares if you’re going to go to the bathroom in the same hotel room or whatever but when you’re in your 80s, you’re like you know it’s more of an issue and you know I took care of Tess and I took care of her you know getting up and down off of the toilet and it didn’t even phase me I mean it was just you know here we are I’m taking care of the woman I love and that was part of it taking care of her and then her laying on her her deathbed her hospital bed in the living room and we had to change the padding underneath and that became kind of a project you know how do we do it? How do we do it right? How do we? How often do we do it in this kind of thing you get very involved in caretaking when someone is that you know that sick that disabled but it all was fine. It all worked and like I said the intimacy that we shared in the 46 years that ended you know it started off with Wild and crazy sex and ended up with changing bedsheets. You know it’s all OK but you know starting off a relationship where you’re sharing bathroom time or whatever I just don’t get it. I just don’t want it and I’ve developed a projected this personality trait of being very modest and so forth which I am but I’m not that damn modest. It’s really just a choice of living together making all the compromises that you do to do that versus living you know a block away where we can just have the fun parts together and that doesn’t mean that I’m not committed to take care of her. You know if she were sick or whatever and I would go visit her but even there I just don’t know because we’re not sharing finances. I need to hang onto the money I have for the long-term and for Lauren but yes, I want to help her. I give her a lot of things I’ve buy our food most of the time, but she contributes too, and that’s the other part of this relationship. I don’t know what a real finances are. I know that she’s living in the house that her brother has given her and that the ant between them is that he hasn’t made that full commitment to allow her to just rest, rest emotionally, knowing that she has her home now that she lives in knowing that she has that forever that he would you know give her a life of State or whatever the technical term is to say this is your home until you pass and at which time it can go back to his daughter and that’s fine but she needs to know she has a home to live in for the rest of her life now again she now she has medical expenses she’s paying for she has her insurance she has co-pays I haven’t offered to pay that. I even asked Linda if you know that would be appropriate she said no so it’s not like we’re married. You know I’m I’m keeping my money for me and for my daughter, but I don’t know as time goes on. I don’t know if you know if I know I’m gonna die or something and I do have a fair amount of money. Would I then give money to Jennifer for being my partner for these last years? Would I give her enough money that she could then feel secure for the rest of her life if she outlive me so these are things you deal with when you’re suddenly single, and then almost just as Suddenly reattached.