Bob and Diane Death Cafe

 Hey Bob and Diane, 

Part of me wants to respond spontaneously while the other wants to stop and think about it…. You’re getting the spontaneous think..🤔 

Death café was completely new to me. While Tess was with us, I wanted to drop in to see what it was all about but didn’t… closer to her time, she lessened her resistance, so I started attending before the big event. This helped me prepare. Then her passing on April 18, 2024, so by then I had a safe haven to turn to. Then, as I’ve said, I felt no need to graduate or terminate my participation because I enjoyed the quality and depth of discussions that we had. Then Jennifer joined our circle of friends, and she understood the value of the group.

I think that you and Diane did a super job in facilitating the concept, the meetings, and each conversation. There was just enough structure to know there was a purpose beyond a simple snack and chat. I continued to find it meaningful and cathartic where different people’s sharings prompted me to think about my Mom, my Son Eric, and my Dad. I didn’t have to be in the throws of grief to be reminded of these losses and to give them a moment of time, reverence and respect as well as good, gentle humor. On that note, I really enjoyed JJ’s input…. ‘They’re the lucky ones’ and ‘I can’t top that’

I got to know her much more as a friend and fellow volunteer because of your group.

As I said, you did a super job, but I also understand and appreciate that it should probably end with the dignity and identity that you gave your Death Café. There is still a need and a value, but it’s better that it be rediscovered or reinvented in someone else’s image than to try to pass it off as a continuation. If there is ever another group, it should have its own unique identity. Meanwhile, Four Seasons Hospice has a comprehensive array of individual and group services.

I also want to take a moment to mention and honor the value of your friendship. It’s hard to believe we’ve known each other for this many years and milestones. First, the dissolution of the FCC Church and how you rallied support for Richard. The loss of Tess and how you rallied support for me. And then your warm welcome and acceptance of Jennifer. I knew that you would love her, but you had to open your hearts to her first. So, possibly on a closing note, I want to say that we will need to make a point to get together from time to time for dinner or, more preferably, lunch. It’s funny how over these years we’ve frequented music events at wineries and breweries… still good venues, but now Hubba Bubba BBQ may just hit the spot. In any case, wherever we choose, let’s do it!!!

With much love in substance and spirit,

Peter and Jennifer